The past few weeks, or months really have had there ups and downs. With the feeling of constant stiffness and joint pain, I had to return to my doctor where tests after tests afters tests were run, where I was told that most likely I had Rheumatoid arthritis. Confused and scared, while awaiting my test results, my days quickly became filled with research, denial, and tears. Being stressed with school, and an overabundance of homework plus the possibility of having a chronic disease, really has a way of making you have a break down. As I was hurriedly trying to complete an essay, I happened to miss the call from my doctor. Of course I frantically called back, only the voice I heard on the other end wasn’t my doctor, it was an answering machine. Last night, in the arms of the man I love I completely lost it. The desire to know what was happening to me, completely consumed my very being. It was all I could think about, all I wanted to know, all I NEEDED to know. An over abundance of questions popping in your head all at once tends to make the fighting back of tears impossible. What would happen to me, was it worse that I thought, was it the end of all I knew? These were merely a few of the millions of questions that kept me up last night. Last night I prayed a prayer full of tears and begging and worry. I did the all famous movie move where you call out and ask if anyone is there, if anyone would please help me, because, simply, I couldn’t do it on my own.
Well today I got the news, today they contacted my mom.
While I will have to get my blood tests retaken in 3 months, and I will have to stay on this pain medicine for awhile, they found that I have very low Vitamin D and Iron. This of course can be helped my vitamins, and they may very well be the only cause of my problems. Vitamins, that may be it. Today, I feel like I can breathe. Whoever worked a little magic for me up there, and whoever listened, which I have a feeling is God, Thanks for pulling through for me on this one. I really needed you.