Lately I have been faced with opportunities and frankly, all scare the living hell out of me. Not in a “omg there is a ghost”, but more in a “what if I fail” kind of way. As a freshman in college I am constantly filled with millions of ideas pouring through my head like one of those giant Italian fountains. Today one of my professors gave us the opportunity to be able to speak poetry, sing, dance, really to do anything at a school event. And there I was instantly excited, and terrified, and scared and elated. It was like a rainbow of emotions was pumping through me with no pot of gold in sight. After only talking to one person about this idea, and not exactly getting the reaction I hoped for, I am more confused now than ever. Should I risk making a complete fool of myself, would it be worth it, would I grow from this experience am I ready, am I lost, and then the all important “Should I do it?”
The truth is, I honestly have no idea. Then this got me thinking about fear. It is good to be fearful of things? Well of course it’s good to be scared of murders and ghosts and haunted caves, but is it good to be scared of opportunities that could potently change our lives. Some of us are so afraid of these things that our lives never really seems to go anywhere, yet some would say that being scared should be a clear sign that you aren’t ready. How much fear is healthy?
Lately I have thought a lot about this idea of fear, is it solely made to keep us from those heartbreaking, butterflies, losing your mind kind of happy; or is it made to separate the strong from the weak. I think its about time you ask yourself the question that will hopefully change your life “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”
If in fact you cant remember, break out the bike, go skydiving, or tell that person you have been secretly crushing on for the past 3 years that hey, maybe you can’t go another day without kissing them. From what I am learning and what hopefully wont come back to bite me on the ass, is, that its completely ok to be scared shitless. Its ok to be terrified. Its ok to be human. Remember that first kiss, or the first time you held the hand of the kid you were pretty sure you loved with all your 15 year old heart? Wasn’t that scary, didn’t you cry and have butterflies and almost puke before it happened? But, didn’t you tell everyone how worth it is was, didn’t you dance like a maniac in your room for 30 minutes, and didn’t you have a smile that the grayest cloud couldn’t make go away. Don’t forget that ‘you actually did it dance’, don’t forget the feeling you get after you do something completely terrifying. It’s ok to be scared, because, doesn’t that mean that it’s really going to be worth it?