If walking through a store or possibly a home and spelling that perfume, I will instantly and forever think of you. Happy by Clinique. Something that doesn’t fit neatly into one category, much like you. Something that constantly revolves around musk or floral or orange, not easy to describe in any sense, much like you. But without a doubt it is a scent that is so delicate and happy, much like you or much like you strive to be. Perhaps you wear a perfume that smells like happy with some desire that this word will somehow sink through into your veins, sliding gracefully into your heart cavity and permanently reside there. That the happy you wear wont have to come from a perfume bottle anymore. You, someone who had a life that was not filled with too many bottles of happiness perfume. The loss you suffered, the decisions you were forced to make, the strength that almost seemed mandatory. The moves, the disease, the breakups, the harshness of the world in general. Maybe, just maybe that’s why you drench your clothing and the nape of your neck in something that promises the smell of happiness. If only you are able to inhale what happiness is supposed to smell like, then maybe, just maybe you could taste happiness, live happiness, feel happiness. Long ago this perfume seemed to be a mask. One that was obvious, one that you believed had people fooled. That if people smelled happiness on your freckled skin, then you believed that they would believe that you were in fact happy. But, lately the happiness of your perfume seem to express your inner thoughts and happiness rather than mask them. It seems to be an extension of the deepest part of your soul and, nothing makes me happier than knowing that now not only do you smell like happiness but you feel like happiness. Happiness for you doesn’t come out of a perfume bottle anymore, it comes out of your soul and that perfect smile of yours.
Well, its official- we live together. Technically we have lived together for about two months now but not until this morning did it become official. Want to know how I know? We are mid shampoo fight. Fight meaning rather that be apologized and I’m ignoring him. Yep the age old fight over household objects. When your fights switch from being about his questioning antics and curious past to not remembering to tell me we were out of shampoo mid shower. The classic shift most couples unknowingly slide through like a quiet avalanche when they venture to that “move in” phase. Where you don’t so much fight about what he did last Friday night (on account that you now know) but fall much closer to “why didn’t you tell me we were out of shampoo?” Don’t get me wrong living together has its perks. I have my partner in crime and best friend there to catch me when I fall both physically and metaphorically speaking and someone there to spend Sunday mornings in bed with and someone to help me carry my groceries. But today there was a change, a shift, a cross over into the next step in our relationship. And, to be quite honest I’m partially scared shitless and partially excited. We made it this far. Over three years together and a couple months of living together is much longer than most people get. Who knows what happens from here all I know is I’m ready to find out. Hopefully its still filled with love letters and flowers with the occasional ‘now tell me you didn’t forget the paper towels again did you?’